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Anti-cool. It’s sort of like antifreeze, except not quite as tasty.


The funny thing about manning a table at a neighborhood coalition event is that everybody there lives in that neighborhood. Nobody at the event lives in your neighborhood, which is four miles away.

Any guesses where this is going?

Let’s back up.

I spent a few hours this evening at said neighorhood coalition gathering dazzling little kids with this stuff:

Owls of Southeast Alaska. I figured it was Halloween appropriate. There were some bat activities too, off to the side.

By the time I was done, it was 8:30pm.

8:30pm on a Sunday night.

We’ve already learned that Juneau public transportation shuts down at certain hours of the night, and this was the case again.


I don’t know very many people with cars here to begin with, and I couldn’t think of anybody close to my location to call without wildly inconveniencing them.

So that narrowed my options down to

  1. walk home
  2. run home

Another factor to consider?

It was pouring rain, per usual.

Which meant that an alternative interpretation of my options was:

  1. spend over an hour in the dark in the pouring rain
  2. spend only about half an hour in the dark in the pouring rain

Look, I don’t know about you, but it’s Sunday night and all I want to do is lay on the couch, not putz around in the dark in the rain all night.

Obviously, I got busy and ran my butt home.

The best part is that I was wearing a big doofy-looking backpack filled with my stuff.

Maybe I’m alone in this, but I’ve always perceived the action of running with a school backpack while wearing normal clothes to be a supreme act of dorkiness. 

[[Tangential backstory: In high school, there was a group of kids who all happened to own wheely backpacks. Words cannot express how fond I was of these gentlemen. They played Magic cards at lunch. They wore wizard shirts. They pwn3d nOObs. And sometimes when they had to move fast, they would pull their wheely backpacks off the floor in formation, strap them onto their backs, and sprint down the hall in a fantastic dragon-shirt explosion of joyfully oblivious social ineptitude. Basically, they should have all been in a movie.]]

Anyway. Back to the present. As I turned the corner out of downtown on my impromptu jog home, I ran by a couple of guys I had already seen twice on the Perseverance Trail earlier that day during my 16-miler. The first time I passed by them, I had been in the middle of nervously clapping to ward off black bears. Yes, very slick. The second time I passed them, they poked amiable fun at me for running so long. I began to answer back with what would have been a very witty response except that I chose that precise moment to trip on a rock and almost fall down right in front of them. Even more slick.

So as I ran by them for the third time in one day, I was inwardly mortified when I saw their faces light up in gleeful recognition of the weird girl who runs a lot.

Sparknotes of this post: I jogged home wearing work clothes and a big dumb backpack. By now, between my ludicrous anti-bear tactics and my apparent penchant for running home, I have indisputably branded myself as Juneau’s resident doofus.

 Are you cool?

How do I avoid this scenario in the future? I need to stop running home from events in unfortunate attire. It’s annoying.

What’s the dorkiest thing you’ve done lately?

18 Comments leave one →
  1. 10/04/2010 04:05

    you totally are not alone: i think running with a backpack is dorky too. but not in a bad way (i am a self-professed nerd/dork!) especially when you get that kindergartner arm swing going. LOVE IT

    ummmm the dorkiest thing i’ve done lately? hard to pick only one 😉 but this weekend i was out and probably was a huge dork by relating everything to science. which normally isn’t that bad. except it was saturday night, i was in heels and a dress. oops hahah

  2. Lacey permalink
    10/04/2010 05:20

    elliot used to run-commute home from work. with a backpack. i thought that was seriously hardcore. i would hate to do that, way too much trouble. i am reading all about categorization for one of my classes and even though an observer’s first categorization of you would be “female” i think you are quickly bumping up the likelihood of “runner” as your sub-category 🙂 how are your legs feeling??? i’m in awe of people who can run and run and run and just feel fine!!!!

    also– the display at the top reminded me of a very sad fact i encountered when i walked in my work building door this morning. there was a dead CARDINAL… ?! i don’t ever see cardinals just around, but there one was, dead and deader right at the door. so sad. and it looked fine, too, just dead. it probably flew into the glass windows. 😦

  3. 10/04/2010 06:55

    Another stellar post that made me smile.
    1) No, definitely not cool;-)I tell my husband that I’m a dork all the time when I do stupid things; so I guess that validates it?
    2) I haven’t been reading long enough to know what your options are for avoiding this scenario in the future. Let’s just say that I think you’re hardcore for living in ALASKA with no car.
    3)Dorkiest thing lately – running into a log-sized branch and getting a huge black bruise on my shin. Yard work is hazardous. I am super accident prone and always have a bruies or two. It probably looks like I’m abused, but I’m just clumsy. (Hense, why I run instead of play contact sports.)

  4. 10/04/2010 09:42

    I think it’s really uncomfortable to run carrying a bag or backpack. I hope you were at least wearing running shoes. Running in flip-flops in the rain carrying a bag is even worse.

  5. 10/04/2010 10:31

    I think I’d just start carrying a change of clothes and running shoes with me to avoid getting stuck in that position again.

    Hm. That might get annoying.

    But unless there is a zip car service up there or you can find a cheap bike, it might not be a bad option.


    Also, Clearly, I am really cool. So cool it hurts. Which is why I do things such as read meteorology blogs. Yes.

  6. dubay319 permalink
    10/04/2010 11:10

    omg some guy got off the bus this morning at the birth center and bit it it was funny , a bit sad but i laughed my ass off

  7. Katyfromhighschool permalink
    10/04/2010 12:17

    Oh man I remember those guys running down the halls and nearly taking people out with their rolly backpacks! Don’t get between them and their lunch table!!

    • 10/06/2010 14:02

      I’m so glad someone else knows eXACTLY what I’m talking about with that story!!! Wheely backpack gang!

  8. 10/04/2010 13:02

    I’m impressed. The idea of running with a backpack makes me cringe, but I wouldve done the same in that situation. You need to make local friends… preferably ones with a car.

    I’m dorky every day when I get dressed for work. I’m entirely too lazy to put effort into looking cute like every other girl does. Give me an extra half hour of sleep instead thanks.

    • 10/06/2010 14:03

      I am so with you on that one. The last time I looked cute at work? Was never. It’s a little pathetic, but on the other hand, so is missing out on sleep in order to look cute…

  9. 10/04/2010 16:01

    Of all the reputations one could have, weird girl that runs a lot isn’t too bad.

  10. 10/05/2010 01:29

    okay seriously, you have nothing to feel dorky about. SO many people in downtown Sydney run home after work with HUGE backpacks on. yes, they change out of their suit and into running gear and all, but still.

    which reminds me, not too long ago i was out for a run and got MURDERED by some guy running in a suit and dress shoes. guess he had a deadline, nonetheless, i felt dumb.

  11. 10/05/2010 06:45

    The other day at the gym I wore my lime green compression socks and I’m pretty sure people thought I was making a (dorky)fashion statement. Alas, I just had sore calves.

    Sometimes running is the quickest and easiest way to get from point A to point B. Hope you rewarded run #3 with some well-deserved couch time 🙂

    • 10/06/2010 14:05

      Ooh, that’s the one downside I perceive to compression socks: others might assume you’re trying to look cutesy. In fact? I’ve probably passed that judgment on some poor runner who was just trying to manage her lower leg lactic acid situation…

  12. 10/05/2010 08:05

    1. Hell no.
    2. Carry shorts in your purse? Hell, you’re already a dork, right? How much worse can it get?
    3. Running with that godforsaken water belt was the dorkiest I’ve LOOKED lately. But I do moderately dorky things on a daily basis. Too many to count.
    Bonus commentary: you really should have made a video of you running in your street attire so we could judge for ourselves just how dorky you looked.

  13. 10/05/2010 08:58

    I have never been cool a moment in my life.

    Funny dorky moment: My old car was a cute little sports coupe. Nice stereo. Sunroof, etc. I had on my sunglasses, windows down, music blaring heading over to my mom’s house. Cute guys pull up along side me and I try to not look like a dork. Of course, Gio (my little Italian greyhound) sticks his body out the window and is wearing his Spongebob Squarepants sweater. I could hear the guys laughing at me. No one looks cool with a little frou-frou dog wearing a Spongebob sweater. (Little did they know he also had a leash to match!)

    • 10/06/2010 14:08

      Hahahaha. This is excellent. Spongebob has a special place in my heart because he somehow became our high school xc team mascot back in the day, and it cracks me up that your dog has a sweater — you must live somewhere COLD for him to need that… oh wait… 😉 Awesome.

  14. 10/06/2010 04:40


    I could never summarize my dorkiness in this little box here, although I certainly have run with a school backpack, jogged in normal clothes, geeked out over Stephen Sondheim (that was really personal by the way). Did you see my posts about going to Civil War sites for a vacation? Yep. That how we roll.

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