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Terrible running puns revisited.

08/27/2010

Remember how fun an awful running pun can be? 

Me too!

Which is why I saw fit to “dash” off a few more. 

  • The young woman’s long history of injuries from barefoot running caused her to become eschewed by her doctor.
  • “What is your pace average?” he asked meanly.
  • “Perhaps you aren’t getting enough electrolytes,” she said saltily.
  • “I’m feeling soreness in my tendons and ligaments,” he insinuated.
  • “I’ll never get down to my racing weight, I’m too chubby!” she blubbered.
  • “My muscles feel solid,” he affirmed.
  • “I’m running fast again,” she resumed.
  •  “How nice that this trail route has so many evergreens!” he opined.
  • “You’re telling me the most important race of my life is canceled due to inclement weather?!” he thundered.
  • “I hate early AM runs,” she mourned.

eh-SHOED!

in-SINEW-ated!

re-ZOOMED!

Real knee slappers, right?

What was that saying about how if you have to explain your jokes, they probably stink?

Some brains just work a little differently, I suppose. For example, in hearing all the scandal over BP and how they have to “seal the oil spill,” one might think of this:

Naturally, one might envision them stuffing a giant furry seal in the leak. Sort of. Or consulting the singer for advice. Whoops, this isn't actually a running pun.

And obviously, when Jay Z and Rihanna sing, “We’re gonna run this town tonight,” it’s okay to think this:

"Victory's within the mile, almost there don't give up now, only thing that's on my mind is who's gonna run this town tonight." -- Come on, with lyrics like that, this interpretation definitely occurred to you too.

 

Terrible.

 

What’s your favorite joke? Unacceptable answers: “you” or “this blog.”

One more random thought: Do you ever get muscle twitches? What are they from and how do you make them go away? I’ve had this involuntary twitch in my hamstring for the past day. A few weeks ago, I had one in my upper arm that lasted almost a week. Salt imbalance?

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. 08/27/2010 11:23

    are you in niantic? i have family there! just random.

    anyway. i liked the blubber one haha. also i finally got around to updating my blogroll and was overly excited to put you under the “alaska and hawaii” section, even if you aren’t technically there yet.

    • 08/29/2010 21:12

      No way — yes, I grew up there! Pumped to be in the Alaska category now.

  2. 08/27/2010 11:25

    my jokes are always funnier to me than others. and i usually have to explain them because they’re sciencey. oh well. at least i think i’m funny :)

    and i ALWAYS get muscle twitches. every day. i know no idea why but it makes me feel hardcore for some reason. better that then me thinking my body is falling apart haha

    • 08/29/2010 21:15

      This sounds super spastic, but I wonder sometimes if mine are anxiety-related… Sometimes if I’m stressed about something (moving, in this case?) I bottle it up and play it cool on the surface. Meanwhile, my twitching muscles betray my stress to myself. Glad to know I’m not the only one who laughs at her own jokes…

  3. 08/27/2010 14:40

    Nice! Did you come up with those yourself?

    I don’t get muscle twitches that last for more than a few seconds, but one of my clients recently told me that she had a twitching muscle for a few days.

    • 08/29/2010 21:16

      Yeah, I came up with them myself. Although some of them are so bad I wish I could say otherwise.

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