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Confirmed: Sunglasses can make a better runner.

08/20/2010

After pulling into the parking lot at today’s running location, I realized with an unpleasant jolt that my sunglasses were apparently still sitting on the table at home.

Reasons this was problematic:

  1. It’s bright out.
  2. WITHOUT MY SUNGLASSES I CAN’T LOOK INTIMIDATING AND COOL.

Rats!

Balls!

RAT BALLS!!

 

You knew this is what I meant, right?

Anybody have pets who used these things? I had a dearly beloved hamster. He did have one of these ball things to play in. Story for another day.

 But, back to my predicament.

I checked my glove compartment in hopes that a rogue pair of backup sunglasses might be dutifully awaiting their day of glory when a mental lapse like this occurred. 

For naught.

No knight-in-shining-armor backup sunglasses could be located. Not in the glove compartment. Not in the middle thingy between the front seats. Not in the trunk. Not on the body in the trunk. Just kidding about that last one.

I did find some almonds though.

But no sunglasses. Again. RAT. BALLS.

So I sighed. Clicked my fingers on the steering wheel. Growled. Debated driving back home for them. Realized this would interrupt my momentum.

Got out of the car and started running.

Jaysusmaryandjoseph, I felt completely exposed.

Running without sunglasses is acceptable if it’s cloudy and rainy out, because that means fewer people will be around.

But on a bright, blinding, beautiful day like today, there were plenty of other runners, walkers, dog-and-children wranglers, and mail-getters, and this was not ideal because I had it in mind to include some painful tempo work in my run.

SO I NEEDED MY SUNGLASSES. I don’t like making others party to my pain and suffering, which is exactly what happens when my sunglasses decide to take a vacation from running. I like my sunglasses on. I like to look in control, even if it’s a total façade and inside I’m battling and second-guessing my ability to hold a pace.

Without the sunglasses, others can see every inch of the pain.

Without the sunglasses, my eyebrows are arched up in that pitiful “Please, God, no!” scrunch.

Without the sunglasses, my eyes radiate desperate and maniacal anguish.

Without the sunglasses, it’s a feedback loop of suck. Others know I’m suffering, so I suffer more.

So when I looped back to my car to change shoes, it was with unadulterated glee that I discovered my sunglasses tucked into a sneaker.

YES.

I put them on and, even though they are cheapo scratched-up pieces of junk, immediately morphed into a combination of the Terminator and Boss Godfrey from Cool Hand Luke.

 

Gun not required.

 

Do you see pathetic scrunchy eyebrows in the above photographs? Do you see any crazy-eyes beaming you a “make it stop!” message? Do these guys look like they’re messing around, just out for a jog?

Heck no! They mean business. And so did I.

Sunglasses in place, I terminated my tempo miles like the cool, calm and collected mileage mercenary I was. Then I cooled down, stretched, changed, got into my car, and said hasta la vista to my running venue.

Second day in a row of decent running. Yesterday was 12 miles at 8:05 pace, today was a total of 12 including seven tempo miles I like to imagine may have averaged in the 7:10’s-20’s, though on the other hand, who knows.

 

Is there anything you CAN’T run without? Watch? Garmin? Hat? Deadly firearms?

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. 08/20/2010 15:02

    i guess i can’t run without my watch. even if i’m not timing a run or caring about time i still have to wear it. i went without it during one of my runs in TX because my friend was wearing his garmin and i felt all awkward!

    although i only wear my sunglasses when it’s bright out i do feel weird without them on cloudy days. too bad my sunglasses are so good that it’s pitch black if i try haha!

    • 08/24/2010 12:22

      I never really run sans watch, either. It’s basically bonded to my wrist at this point.

  2. 08/20/2010 18:14

    I 100% have to have my Garmin!

  3. 08/21/2010 14:15

    You know, I’ve actually never worn sunglasses running. I feel like they would annoy me.

    • 08/24/2010 12:25

      Funny you say that, because they occasionally DO annoy the living daylights out of me, especially on really sweaty/hot days… they get sweaty and grimy and tough to see through, slide down my nose, etc. But I prefer it to squinting, I suppose.

  4. 08/23/2010 06:25

    I love my Garmin and hate running without it, but I could if I had to. I wouldn’t be happy. Not one bit. But I also despise running with sunglasses, so to each her own. Once I had an eye infection and tried to run with my normal glasses (not contacts) and that bugged the hell out of me so much that I went on a treadmill and ran blind.

    • 08/24/2010 12:27

      It’s true. Glasses have no regard for the fact that they should stay in one place on your nose and not slide down or bounce around. No garmin for me yet, but I agree that training without some kind of data feedback (watch!) feels useless.

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