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A collection of repulsive racing portraits for your viewing pleasure.

07/14/2010

Anti-blogger (the Angry Runner) recently put out a call for our ugliest racing pictures.

All of these were scoured (and subsequently stolen) from the bowels of the internet, but now I’m actually putting a claim and a name on them.

I hope you’ll still be my friend.

This was marathon mile 26. Forgive me for looking like a drunk monkey-chipmunk zombie that just got walloped over the head with a frying pan.

Here, I seem to be doing an impression of the pokemon Jigglypuff, who according to Wikipedia is  characterized by the ability to “inflate it’s body like a balloon.”  I am floating…

In addition to my two shirts, I appear to also be sporting my winter holiday cookie layer.

 Try not to be too envious of my running form.

This website even came with a close-up feature, but I'll spare you that. On the plus side, I beat the skinny girl behind me by a good 15 seconds. Wanna know how? I clocked her good across the face with that rogue right elbow shortly before this photo was taken. Or at least, I seriously considered it.

 Let’s throw in a rowing picture. Those are always good for a laugh:

Looking constipated appears to be a theme in my racing pictures. Mercifully, gravity is not as cruel when you are going back and forth rather than bouncing up and down.

On the rare occasions that I look something akin to normal, I get out-kicked:

I knew there was a camera there, so I was really trying hard to look sane. Monsterface behind me beat me to the line because of it. "Ya hate to see that."

I look normal here but I included it because I ripped a piece of it to make the header on this blog.

I’d like to claim that these pictures don’t do me justice and I look better in person, but that might not be true.

Power to my fellow rhinoceracers.

Outkicking the occasional skinny chick since 1987

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. 07/14/2010 23:19

    Excellent collection.

    I’ll take the constipated look over the “birth to a bowling ball” face I’ve got going on in some pics…

  2. 07/15/2010 10:51

    Lol. I think the constipated-rower is the worst. I tend to look pissed off in my pics cause i don’t cheese out for the camera. I’d prefer a “real” running action shot, not a spirit fingers one.

    • 07/15/2010 22:56

      Occasionally I’ve tried to smile for cameras while racing. I’m not sure where the flash of vanity comes from. Distraction from the pain? In any case, it doesn’t work. My smiles end up looking like 100% wha-bam grade grimaces.

  3. 07/15/2010 21:36

    brilliant! I’m loving this whole bad running photos thing. Viva la revolucion!

    • 07/15/2010 23:09

      I agree. I wish I could find better bad photos. I’ve definitely taken worse than these, I just need to keep hunting around for them.

  4. 07/20/2010 22:01

    This is fabulous! I also collect my horrible pictures. My FAV is from the chicago marathon where this skinny chick is mugging for the camera, all smiley and waving, and I look like I’m about to punch her in the face.

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