Anti-blogger (the Angry Runner) recently put out a call for our ugliest racing pictures.
All of these were scoured (and subsequently stolen) from the bowels of the internet, but now I’m actually putting a claim and a name on them.
I hope you’ll still be my friend.
This was marathon mile 26. Forgive me for looking like a drunk monkey-chipmunk zombie that just got walloped over the head with a frying pan.
Here, I seem to be doing an impression of the pokemon Jigglypuff, who according to Wikipedia is characterized by the ability to “inflate it’s body like a balloon.” I am floating…
In addition to my two shirts, I appear to also be sporting my winter holiday cookie layer.
Try not to be too envious of my running form.
This website even came with a close-up feature, but I'll spare you that. On the plus side, I beat the skinny girl behind me by a good 15 seconds. Wanna know how? I clocked her good across the face with that rogue right elbow shortly before this photo was taken. Or at least, I seriously considered it.
Let’s throw in a rowing picture. Those are always good for a laugh:
Looking constipated appears to be a theme in my racing pictures. Mercifully, gravity is not as cruel when you are going back and forth rather than bouncing up and down.
On the rare occasions that I look something akin to normal, I get out-kicked:
I knew there was a camera there, so I was really trying hard to look sane. Monsterface behind me beat me to the line because of it. "Ya hate to see that."
I look normal here but I included it because I ripped a piece of it to make the header on this blog.
I’d like to claim that these pictures don’t do me justice and I look better in person, but that might not be true.
Power to my fellow rhinoceracers.
Outkicking the occasional skinny chick since 1987